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It's such a nice day today.

My second college interview came (just in the middle of Special Olympics meeting), this time with Dartmouth, and it was so good.

Planning for Special Olympics makes me eager to start everything again. I'm so looking forward to the day when we actually see the rest of the athletes, and the day we greet Marianela and Jose back from China, and listen to them telling about their experience there. It'll be so great.

Oh, and I finished my TOK essay as well, which was started at 4:30 pm on exactly the due date and finished just right on time before the deadline (10pm same day) =) Not that I'm lazy.... well, maybe I do procrastinate a little bit =/ But I knew that I'd be able to do it. And all the mathematics, physics, English (and talks), make me feel so afresh and excited for everything, academically (although I'm really running like hell after deadlines, and maybe I should start thinking about my college essays...)

Last night, I stayed with Tanya and Chase at check-in, helped them with the task (with my imaginary imposed wages of $5 per 10 minutes and check in fee of 100 colones per person), and decorated the check in sheets. I should be hired by the school to decorate these weekly, they're so boring =) (because we REALLY NEED decorated check in sheets,hah).

Chase and Tanya told me that I seemed to be the second year in this campus that was so relaxing, enjoying everything, walking around hanging out with people, and NOT worn out by the IB. Well, perhaps that's true. I guess I'm just a deadline worker (and all night puller), but that, they, and you, will never know =)

Gotta go. Have a presentation waiting.

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Yesterday Bryan told me that I was spending too much time on blog writing (he came back after one week and found a totally new page - 4 or 5 brand new posts, and all of them are long). So he was complaining that it took too much time to read and understand everything. Uh oh, don't think that I'm making you guys read everything I write (but I know you will anyway =p). However, if you seriously don't have time, just read the one about my thoughts by the piano on the next page. If there could only be one thing on my blog that I'd like you guys to read, that would be the one.

So, yes I have been writing a lot, simply because I've had a lot to write about. I'm a senior, and everything is going fast (although you might argue otherwise) - so new things come rapidly. And then I'll need time to think about them (OK, maybe I am really procrastinating...). In fact, my thoughts are often very elusive and nothing comes into shape before I actually write them down.

Things that have come to me recently somehow have many things to do with different kinds of romantic relationships =/ (and almost all of them are long distance). I have just learned about that of two people in two US colleges (W. and S.), and the point of view from an outsider who's been observing them. And this afternoon too, I went out for ice cream with a few people in the school, and we were talking about guys that have girlfriends and are still kissing other girls around. Let's just put aside the morality of that (which we already talked a lot about). It just occurred to me that perhaps guys tend to care about the physical aspect of relationships more than girls do? Some guys even think that kissing girls is trivial, like the way they eat or go to sleep everyday. If that's the case, how can they even be in long distance relationships (and not cheating on anyone)? Tell me, guys =) Anyways, I've just had a chat with Jin, who has confirmed (under a scientific point of view) about the greater amount of physical concerns found in guys. So I asked him, then why would someone decide to stay in a long distance relationship? And he sang a line in one of Coldplay's songs: when you're too in love to let it go... Well, I also know a saying that goes: distance means so little when you love someone so much. Maybe, time becomes so little as well - 3 years have passed ever since, but everything is just like a blink.

I know no matter how smart some people are, when it comes to these things they just become so slow. So in case someone doesn't really get it, the whole paragraph above basically just says 本とに大好きよ。

Now let's change the topic. I talked to Alexis during dinner, mainly about life (broad subject) and how we're gonna do what we intend to do. I really regretted not taking biology, for now I realized how much I'd like to be an environmentalist. And I also felt sad about how hard it would be to be able to pursue something I really liked, and to be devoted to helping people at the same time (in the sense of helping people who really need help). My parents are really good examples. But on the other hand, I'm glad that I have choices, and can be worried about such things.

By the way, countdowns are useful, and the countdown on this site says that it's 12 days away from my birthday (which means 12 days away from the SAT test). Yesterday or the day before, I had a long chat with someone and learned about bro Khoa as well as what he had been doing. It inspired me with the thoughts that someone was really carrying out what I had always wanted to do, regardless of how unconventional it was.

Well, since I've just realized that I'm sleepy and my writing is terrible today, maybe I should stop. (But it's a long post already, I know =/ )

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Last year, Mondays were the busiest days of my life, and Special Olympics was just in the middle of it. Getting on that nasty school bus, running after the athletes under the terrible noon's heat and sunlight, while worrying about the next day's math homework, weren't something enjoyable, I admit. But the trade off for those little unpleasant things seemed to be priceless. When I saw Marianela running after me to catch the ball, or Michael trying to play soccer, or Macro riding his bike between me and Keally (who ran like hell after him to keep the bike on the right track)... I know I have seen a lot.

I went as trainer, but felt like I too was being trained. At that training place, under the sun and the heat, I know I have seen the most incredible efforts that someone could have given.

Marianela and Jose went to a party with the president of Costa Rica the other day. Both of their disabilities are mental, and thus I was mildly amused to see them dressing up and behaving the way they often do (Really, it was fun and kind of touching to see).

So, anyway, we had a party to see them off (to the World Special Olympics game in Shanghai) this afternoon at our school, and Marianela was crying.

Dime, por que lloras?

Porque estoy felis.

She hugged me (Gracias...) for the rest of the party, when I was drinking my coke, when I was singing Wonderwall, when she asked me how to say this and that in Chinese (despite my very, very, very, (and did I say very?) limited Chinese knowledge).

Chica, me extranarias? Te extranare, tambien. Pero tienes que terminar llorar, si? No lloraras, si? Muchas, muchas suertes y disfrutas China.

I don't believe that any body feels the way I do about you now...

I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me...

And after all, you're my wonderwall...

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I'm kind of proud of myself =)

I believe I wrote 3,000 words today, and thus was able to finish my Extended Essay 20 minutes before the deadlines (no more EE, yay! At least until October)

And just right after that, I had an interview with Swarthmore. My first college interview (with half an hour to research the school)

Well, not that I'm proud of myself being procrastinating, disorganized and lazy. But I'm kind of amazed by how much work I myself could do during a short time (and did it sorta well). Another thing is how I did that without feeling any stressed (just mildly tired). I think I have lost the ability to feel put under pressure =(

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I'm back from camp, physically wet and tired.

Deadlines are coming up and time is running out. Let alone the extended essay that is due in one day, I now have to prepare for economics class tomorrow, although I'm completely not in the mood. For some reasons I feel exhausted - but that's just how life is. So, I fell asleep on my bed, while listening to music on my laptop. When I woke up, "Blowing in the wind" was played. Coincidentally, this song had also been played during camp, once through the speakers in the dining house and once by a student. It's one of my father's most favorites, and he sings it very well.

The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind...

My father, whom I talked about in my group when we were sharing answers for the question "if you could bring here someone from your world, who would you bring and why?" Although I hated being seen crying, I cried when listening to people telling about the person in their worlds in the big group, and I cried when listening to myself talking. In a moment, I just became so vulnerable, and let someone who were not Jin nor Natchan comfort me.

Winds did blow a lot there, literary. When I and all others walked back to the buses this afternoon, winds were blowing and rain were falling hard. I was among those who had least belongings, but it didn't mean that I would be comfortable. Actually, we were walking uphill, I had to hold the guitar up high so that the lower part of it wouldn't drag on the ground, and tried to bend down to cover the sleeping bag with my body so that it wouldn't get wet. I was worried about water reaching the calculator and the 80GB USB hard drive inside my back bag. And on my mind, two pieces of memories came back simultaneously. One was last year, in the beginning of project week, when we had to walk for a much, much longer distance to/inside the jungle, in the same condition under the rain fall. One was just last night, when I woke up because of the coldness. There weren't enough beds, so I slept on the floor with my sleeping bag, even though Nina had invited me to share the bed with her. I was wearing my daily wear (khaki and short sleeve T-shirt) - and I had a sweater, but it was nowhere to be found. Apparently, I felt very cold (which I didn't when going to sleep) and had to get up in the middle of the night. I warmed myself up by putting on all the T-shirt I had in my bag, thinking I might end up as thick as a polar bear.

Chilly was also how I felt when walking to the bus under the rain, in a long-sleeve casual T-shirt and (still) without my sweater. It was so familiar that sometimes I even expected to hear a familiar special voice asking the familiar question ("Are you NOT cold?")The Canadian voice that recently had always stayed on my mind, singing "Take me home".

Country road, take me home
To the place I belong...

While strumming his guitar. I think I had tried to imitate that movement, and what I got out of it was quite surprising. The way my voice came out in the talent show, without a mic, clear, bare, loud and soft surprised me as well. It was funny how a Russian song really took me home with its melody and words. The sharp notes from the guitar the I overheard while half-sleeping on the bus also reminded me of home, of coffee nights with live music.

Back home, I used to dream about being at a place like this Roblealto Camp. Had I had this greenness and largeness to run about, to jump to someone's neck and pull him down when practicing a Vovinam move, maybe things would have turned out differently. It had been more than one year since I stopped practicing Vovinam, but the philosophy, the physical theory and some kinds of reflection were still inside me. It led me to try capoiera just before getting on the bus. I showed the girl how to kick in different way (as well as how to fight back and roll), and I had to recall certain things that I didn't think about for quite a while. She got me to do some capoeira with her, and before I even realized I found myself rhythmically and successfully dodge her continuous attacks. Seemed like it was the muscle memories that were the most reliable.

That brought me back to something known by all martial art disciples: make sure that you know what's behind you. This unspoken rule summons another rule : whenever there is a wall, lean against it. We, however, just learned today that Jet had this habit as well, which was the aftereffect of a traumatic experience. We talked about fear and the unknowns, and again in my mind I went through the old days in my clinic, with the smell of sterilizer and tablets, with the dark living room and the sound of phone ringing every night. It came to a point when I had to force myself to walk slowly in the nonsense fear of darkness, and being able to free myself from thereof.

Now, come to think of it, all the fears I have gone through were trivial. I was a stubborn girl, didn't have a perfect childhood, but at least nothing from it is haunting me today. Granted a free pass through all the terrors existing in the world for at least 17 years.

But, who knows, free is the most expensive price.